rainy days, cozy, alone

God is good.  He is taking care of the students I’m not meeting with.

And giving me time and time to do fundraising.  This nor’easter is making my house more cozy than usual, and the flooded roads are keeping me from driving to campus.

“Unlike other Extraverted types, ENFPs need time alone to center themselves, and make sure they are moving in a direction which is in sync with their values.”

I stole this quote from another ENFP staff, and want to put it out there… I need alone time.  I hope someday to have built a healthy habit of spending significant time in solitude.  Significant, either in length of time or simply in quality of time (aka- not sleeping).  Right now, it’s just a hit or miss (and mostly miss) kind of thing.  I know that the Lord is one who sustains, and I say this in faith that by his Spirit I am sustained.  I pray that I would pursue Him more and more…

Things I learned in College

I saw this blog post by ze frank and thought of the 2682 freshmen who just finished their first week and a half of classes at Old Dominion….words of wisdom include “One cannot survive on ramen noodles alone” and “when preparing for an exam, two liters of Mountain Dew is not a good substitute for 8 hours of sleep”

http://www.zefrank.com/college/index.html

What did you learn in college?  What advice would you give freshmen?

oh.

Do you ever look up the lyrics to a song you love and end up disappointed?
I was just feeling inspired by a lovely Andrew Bird song and decided to see if I could quote it on my blog to bring the inspiration to y’all.  Well, the one phrase that I sing (also the title) that brings the zeal back into my voice is “Don’t be scared, don’t believe you’re all alone”.

It’s true!  And the melodious sounds that surround it here, well… you can listen to it here.  The song is what I’m talking about, not the video.

what it’s like to be “on campus”, and why I’m not (yet)

I spent 5 hours on campus today, which is longer than I have since the beginning of May.  Time on campus includes one-on-one conversations with students, observing things in the student center, running in to people at the coffee shop… talking about Jesus, family, relationships, schedules, ministry, conflict, reconciliation, and casting vision for our community of faith.  Today has been so entirely refreshing, revealing and motivating!  Refreshing because it helps me to remember and know my calling.  Revealing because even as I pray for specific students and the chapter as a whole all summer, so much comes out in conversation that really moves things along.  I’ll hear straight from someone else’s mouth a very specific situation or dealing that my spirit has sensed in a general way.  Certainly the Spirit prays for me in my confusion and misunderstanding, and I treasure that, but to have discernment and be able to pray with specificity is so special.  I also love praying for people and places when I am there or near.  And when I say “moves things along,” I truly believe that the Kingdom is being built, brick by brick, and these conversations with students are like bricks for the Kingdom of God at Old Dominion.

Back to refreshing:  I think the most exhilarating thing is that I know that the students I met with today are grateful for me, and that the Lord has specifically gifted me and placed me in their lives to help them towards maturity in Christ.  And on the days that I feel like a failure?  Days when I don’t feel appreciated?  Let me remember that God is using every, every thing to work towards His good purposes.

Now the piece on motivation:  There are some aspects of this job that aren’t on campus, like most of my summer has been.  The off-campus work serves the on-campus work… and vice versa.  My off-campus work right now is to be dedicated to raising up a group of supporters for this ministry.  My off-campus work is really intimidating sometimes.  It might include a “cold call” or speaking in front of a big group about my needs.  My off-campus work is also at times really tedious– excel spreadsheets and calculations, managing email lists and tracking down contact information, loads of writing notes and making phone calls….

Let me remember that God is using every, every thing to work towards His good purposes!  I firmly believe His good purpose for me includes me staying on staff and having a full-time ministry position.  I overwhelmingly believe His good purpose for ODU includes the growth of this missional community.  And I am certain that His good purpose for the ODU students is to be drawn into an ever-deepening relationship with Him.

So now, let me spend a few more hours in honest dedication to the “other” part of my work.

–This weekend will kick off the official season of “full-time on campus” work as I take the 25 student leaders on a retreat to reconnect and prepare for this coming semester.  Monday starts the official “New Student Welcome” season as we host events almost every day to invite and envelop new students into the community.  Pray that I will finish the bulk of my fundraising in the next few days!

staying up late thinking about donuts- HOT & NOW

I find myself dragging my feet at “bedtime” and I just realized it’s that I am used to a phone call from Tyler to say goodnight.  I find myself staying up because I know he is(….at work.  The night shift at Krispy Kreme… it’s all part of learning the trade).  Silly.   But, I want to be less averse to silly and more willing to show my love for him, however it might express itself.   I’ve probably spent the last 10 or so years of my life trying to downplay my emotions, especially twitterpation, so that I wouldn’t be “that girl.”   I was boy-crazy.  I got obsessed over certain boys.  And as I tried my hardest to not be that way, I think I lost something of myself.  Weird, isn’t it?  Now that it is TOTALLY appropriate for me to feel butterflies and excitement about this one boy (ok he’s a man, but for the sake of argument)– I’m not fully released into that.

At an impromptu dinner with a friend tonight we talked about breaking free and it felt a little bit like a breeze coming in to a stale room.  Makes me motivated to take some next steps… pursuing some wise counsel and an older woman to speak into my life!

All that to say… I’m in love with Tyler, the Manager-in-training at the Krispy Kreme on VB Blvd!

reminding me of how funny homestar runner was!!

scotch and chocolate

I recently got a mac:

(evidential photos)

It also forced me to re-load my itunes, and I realized how many songs I have that I don’t listen to.  So now I am on a kick of listening to new/old music from my very own library.

Today I am working at my desk and just took a little break to catch up on my google reader (I think loneliness prompts this, too) and while I could have clicked around and read for longer, I got distracted by Nickel Creek’s feisty little instrumental ditty, “scotch and chocolate”.  I don’t mind that phrase.

My Great Aunt Leora loves scotch.  She is in the hospital right now, and I went to see her last night.  The nurse was asking her a barrage of questions about her medical history– Nurse: “never smoked?” Leora: “No. Never.” “never drink alcohol?” “Alcohol, oh yes.  Alcohol!  Well I used to drink heavily.  I love scotch.  But now it’s only occasional”

A closing note about the music; the album is a bit too rageful for me, albeit bluegrass rage.  But I don’t need any spite from outward sources.

nice try, but no cigar

I think that’s a phrase.

The rat wriggled himself free of the moustrap in which he lay.

He then proceeded to eat the mound of peanut butter off of the “sticky trap” and escape through one of the 2 available exits.

Tuesday morning: “the saga continues” (as all good sagas do!)  Jean and I got up and read the note from early-bird Sarah who had discovered the empty trap.  We feel sad, tired, and sort of guilty for not “finishing the job” of the night before.  I also feel very very strongly that we should involve the landlord and the exterminators in this process.  I call Pitor, our landlord who spells his name, as Jean says, “the fancy way.”  He apologizes profusely and calls the exterminator for us.

Not really wanting to be in the kitchen, we hop in the car with PJs on and go to McD’s for breakfast.  Upon returning and beginning to eat in the playroom/den which I dub “the breakfast room”, we hear a knock at the door and our demi-hero of the day appears to assist us.  The exterminator is not necessarily surprised that the rat didn’t die from the mousetrap, and he can’t put poison out arbitrarily into holes and under cabinets.  He sets out some new sticky traps for us, with just a dab of peanut butter right in the middle, gives us his cell phone number and calls it a day.  Willing to come dispose of the rat dead or alive if captured again– I saved this number in my phone.

Perhaps the rat was mortally wounded and went away to die in peace?  Or is he angry, bruised and planning revenge? Will Pitor ever come to fix the hole behind our stove?  Stay tuned.  Or not.  In truth, it’s not that big of a deal, and I know this.  But it’s been fun to write.

• Pest Trivia:
• What we could have done is put one of our sticky traps on top of the waylaid rat, so he couldn’t escape.
• or call someone brave to come help.
• Our exterminating friend has never been bitten, but HE HAS BEEN CHARGED BY A RAT!
• that rodents are scared of new things in their environment was confirmed (in my head I used the word xenophobe again, it’s just too rich not to!)
• Argument: If we saw a stray kitten in the kitchen, we wouldn’t want to snap it’s neck.  Answer: Because kittens can belong in kitchens and households, whereas rats carry diseases, bite people, eat your food, make a mess and run out and startle people.  (This logic is brought to you by Verna)

friend.

I miss my friends, the ones from Charleston.  I like reading some emails and blogs, and facebook photos are amusing and cute.  But I miss passing time, doing life, sitting on front porches, making meals, drinking wine or eating avacados.  I also really miss the Cistern.

Emily I thought I would see sooner and am now unsure.

Maria, Liz, Annie, Caroline, Ann-Marie, Sophie, and Aubree I will see soon and am overwhelmingly glad.

It has been a year in Norfolk, and a good one at that.  But I think I fought against the sadness more than embracing it, so my nostalgia is a bit tainted.  I want to be in their stories of the day, and I want to dream together again.

What Would PETA Do?

Tonight is the beginning of the end of what I will hereto call “the rat saga.”  It seems I am experiencing several ongoing problems at once- situations that continue to unravel, solutions thwarted by a turn of events, a seemingly simple desire developing into an epic story… (e.g. the Mac saga:  Now that it’s resolved, I’m just happy to say I am now a proud owner of an “old” MacBook 13″ aluminum case that is pretty much the same as the “new” MacBook PRO 13″… $100 cheaper)

We work pretty hard around here to keep a nice home.  The 4 of us share our housekeeping responsibilities and generally do a fine job of it.  

Enter the rodent.  The rodent isn’t interested in whether there is dust on the mantle or smudges on the glass.  He doesn’t even care if the shower has mildew or the carpet is vacuumed.  Compelled by a sharp sense of smell and a wily ability to chew through pretty much any obstruction, the rodent- in our case, a rat- seeks out the leftover crumbs, grease stains and kitchen-sink fare of the human household. 

At the end of last summer, one of my dear roommates was minding her own business in the den when a rat scampered across the room, right past her feet, and into a storage space.  We had the landlords apologizing and convincing us that it was a domesticated rat, escaped from the cage of a med student of last year’s lease.  A-Active came to put out some poison and gave us some sticky pads, along with a warning that “rats and mice are known xenophobes: they are wary of anything new in their environment, so it takes a while for these to work”   After that we didn’t see any more droppings or chewed-through boxen of food. End of story?

(a saga is bound to go over the 300 word limit; my apologies)

Enough exposition. I’ll give it to you as simply as I can:

Tuesday night: Erica, sleeping at our place in order to avoid her houses’ infestation of cockaroaches, goes down to get a drink of water and sees a rat who disappears behind the stove.  

Wednesday morning: Kristen google-searches “rat in house” and comes up with a helpful guide; forwards it to roommates and alerts them of the return of the rodent.  Puts flour in front of the rat’s exit points on either side of the stove. 

Thursday night: Sarah R goes into the kitchen circa 10pm and sees the rat; screams; Kristen runs downstairs to investigate, gets to watch the rat skitter around, attempting to run behind the stove but intimidated by the flour, turns around and scampers into a gap by the dishwasher.  

Erica and Kristen construct a blockade by the kitchen door, Sarah and Jean go to buy rat traps.

Friday:  A-Active says landlord has to make the appointment, landlord doesn’t answer phone or return email. 

Friday night: no sign of rat on sticky pad/traps.  Moved both to the stove “entrances.” 

Saturday night: Another rat-sighting.  Sarah and Kristen pull the dishwasher out to investigate, make good use of the flashlight/weapon to find a hole behind the stove.  Great detective work.

Sunday night:  Jean returns from visiting parents with a snapping mouse trap.  All are convinced it is too small, but set it out anyways, making good on a promise made to Marv.  Place it in front of the dishwasher “entrance”

2o mins later, Sunday night: Kristen goes down to deposit water into the sink, sees rat laying still, in trap.  Goes up to Jean for moral support.  Calls Mom.  Cries a little bit.  Mom tells Kristen that animals don’t have souls, this is how God intended it, think of all the little sheep that had to die for our sin… Kristen sobs.  

Decide it’s best to care for the early bird-Sarah and cover from sight or remove.  Going down to the kitchen with a large shoebox, discussing strategy, they see the rat swish it’s tail.  Then it tries to pick up its head.  Freak out a little bit inside.  Decide to cover up.  Brave up, say a prayer, put a box over it.  Hope that it dies quickly.

So it’s not over yet, but we’ve reached the resolution and it should all be downhill from here.

Yet there’s processing to be done: as a child growing up in Key West with Free Willy, Fern Gully, and Earth Day.  Living near the PETA headquarters for 15 years.  How can I honestly deal with this?

  

to sing of the long, slow growth

—I am trying to teach my mind
to bear the long, slow growth
of the fields, and to sing
of its passing while it waits.

—The farm must be made a form,
endlessly bringing together
heaven and earth, light
and rain building, dissolving,
building back again
the shapes and actions of the ground.

-poem by Wendell Berry, “From the Crest”

What Berry sees in his farm as form, I see in Scripture as form… Holy Scripture is a form in just this way: a fenced-in acreage of words and sentences of many different sorts and kins, but all of them integral to the work that is being done, working in long, steady rhythms in which we, the readers, participate but don’t control.  We meditatively enter this world of words and give obedient and glad assent.  We submit our lives to this text that is “endlessly bringing together/ heaven and earth…”.

-Eugene Peterson, Eat This Book page 40