ideas, ideas.

I’ve been laying in bed for a while now, mind racing.  If you’ve ever seen “Laugh your way to a better marriage,” clips you’ll recognize the metaphor I’m about to put into play: I can’t possibly tie my thoughts together coherently for this blog post, since everything is connected in one way or another.  One thought I had was “what if I could go write down everything I’m thinking and categorize it into blocks?” Like, an 8.5×11 sheet of paper for each category of life.  “Housekeeping” would be one, “Work” and then I confused myself.  Would “Relationships” be a category? Or “Friendships”? How would one of my friends feel to walk into my office and see their name on a sheet of paper?  The idea I was pondering, and came to my computer to think through was that of service- what can I be doing to actively care for the people who live around me?  I kind of want to host a block party.  More on that later.  I also think I should exercise or do something active, regularly.  Do all my thoughts fit into categories? What about the overlap?

So, screw the categories thing.  I spent too much time reading about (and implementing) Google’s priority inbox and lifehacker advice on to-do lists tonight.

Here’s my thought.  Ash Wednesday is tomorrow.  I’ve already committed to observing Lent, corporately with my church family as we journey through the theme “How does Death lead to Life?” alongside some other churches globally.  I’ve had some interesting conversations about Lenten habits,  I’m remembering how much I grew spiritually while observing Lent in college- giving up sugar, implementing times of solitude and silence, my first Seder meal, and that magical midnight Easter service…

In conjunction with the challenge from Steve on Sunday (“Serve somewhere this week.”), Tyler’s suggestion that we could go play and sing at my Great Aunt’s nursing home, and the beginning of Lent, I wonder is it possible and beneficial to give 1-2 hours a week doing an act of kindness towards a senior citizen? I can think of a few options- bring flowers to Mary, invite Alvin and Mary over again (it’s been a year since that sweet dinner), go over and show photos to Alvin, visit Aunt Leora at her place, think of something intentional to bring to her or talk to her about when having dinner at my parent’s, go visit Granddad in his part of the house, stay with Grandmother so that Mom and Granddad can have a day off, take Granddad to breakfast… I have a lot of senior citizens in my life right now.  They are so time-consuming.  Lord, give me patience even as I think about these things.  It’s not something that I can just “stop by” for 15 minutes and do.  I definitely have enough ideas to cover 6 weeks, once a week events.  And enough people to spread it out to!

My other idea was a block party.  We know a good handful of neighbors, and it could be a simple enough thing.  Print out invitations, buy plastic cups and have cold water in our water cooler, bring Krispy Kreme, get a huge kickball (or a regular sized kickball), pick a date and time, and go knock on doors to invite folks who live on the street.  Boom. Block party.  I do things like this all the time on campus, it’s not that hard.  Pick an activity and a food or drink and that’s the name of your awesome event (e.g. Kickball & Kool Aid… 4 Square & Capri Sun… volleyball & watermelon).  This will be “kickball & krispy kreme block party”  It even sounds epic.

So, I’m excited!  I love ideas and dreaming up things to do.  The question is now, should and will I do them?

numbers of the day

1: number of parking tickets earned at ODU today

8: the number of buttons on our new blender

7: the number of attorney letters I’ve gotten since they released information on who got $177 tickets in NC this weekend (2 days worth of mail).

6: the number of different batteries Tyler is charging for a very important and secret photography assignment tomorrow (it involves a diamond ring…!)

7: the number of students I ran into today in the dining hall of ODU who had just received applications for leadership.  They had big smiles.

I realized something about Tyler today– as soon as he gets something new, he wants to use it right away.  Hence the 10:30pm smoothie

Your Kingdom come, Your will be done

I just had one of those whirlwind moment/ days on campus.  I’m typing this in the lounge area of Batten Arts & Letters building, realizing just how real this campus ministry thing is.

It’s real when I have my weekly meeting with a student, but started late so we decided to walk over to the place where his class would start and meet there instead.  Sitting and hearing about the past week having a friend ask big questions about prayer, hearing a sermon about prayer, and realizing he had signed up to lead this week’s prayer time (oh yeah, it’s called TGIF).  After he went to class, I ran into 4 students who were on their way to a World Religions class.  I have heard about this class, these students, their frustrations in the class, their commitment to pray with each other before the class.  I just happened to be standing there, talking about praying for the Kingdom to come on campus.  So I joined them… in prayer!

“Lord, Your kingdom come, Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven”

Agatha Christie

Mysteries- I learned to spell this word early on as this was my favorite genre of book as a child, and I don’t know why I never got into murder mysteries as I grew up.  But my favorite books were the Encylopedia Brown, Cam Jansen, Happy Hollisters, Mandie– courageous, quick-witted heroes solving puzzles and crimes worldwide! 

The ending scene where the detective tells the story to the whole crowd, each of whom could be implicated in the crime… all the pieces fall into place, the sullen criminal sits, bound to listening as his evil is revealed… it’s the best part!  I have been sitting here halfheartedly tuning in to Poirot while I catch up on my google reader (and catch the blogging bug again), but at the final scene I turn my full attention to the scene and watch it unfold.  It’s amazing, really, how the detective twists all the motives and alibi and the outcome is never really as suspected. 

Today and yesterday I’ve been thinking about my life, out loud, and telling people “these things all feel purposeful, as God puts situations in my life…. but I’m not quite sure what the purpose is.”  I would like to have a really clever person look at all the evidences and put the pieces together for me:  Writing and giving talks, day of retreat, snowfall, extreme emotions, accusations, busy schedule, restlessness, letters un-opened, notes on napkins, stopping by to see family, grocery shopping, impactful decisions, friendship, marriage, house-keeping. 

I feel both overwhelmed in survival mode, and an underlying hope in the purposeful-feeling-ness of it all.  It’s a new place for me. 

    

side note: searching for little photos and tidbits for you my reader, I ended up reading some Wikipedia and other info on my favorite books.  I wonder just how much I’ve been affected by them– father Hollister is an entrepreneur/ business owner and father of 5.  Is this my secret desire for Tyler and our family?? Mandie is a spritely girl who interacts with Tennessee wealth and is very committed to cross cultural relationships and values multi-ethnicity.  I always connected with her so well! 

 I could write for a while about book characters who I consider friends!  Coming soon:  Christy Miller vs Sierra Jensen!

rainy days, cozy, alone

God is good.  He is taking care of the students I’m not meeting with.

And giving me time and time to do fundraising.  This nor’easter is making my house more cozy than usual, and the flooded roads are keeping me from driving to campus.

“Unlike other Extraverted types, ENFPs need time alone to center themselves, and make sure they are moving in a direction which is in sync with their values.”

I stole this quote from another ENFP staff, and want to put it out there… I need alone time.  I hope someday to have built a healthy habit of spending significant time in solitude.  Significant, either in length of time or simply in quality of time (aka- not sleeping).  Right now, it’s just a hit or miss (and mostly miss) kind of thing.  I know that the Lord is one who sustains, and I say this in faith that by his Spirit I am sustained.  I pray that I would pursue Him more and more…

oh.

Do you ever look up the lyrics to a song you love and end up disappointed?
I was just feeling inspired by a lovely Andrew Bird song and decided to see if I could quote it on my blog to bring the inspiration to y’all.  Well, the one phrase that I sing (also the title) that brings the zeal back into my voice is “Don’t be scared, don’t believe you’re all alone”.

It’s true!  And the melodious sounds that surround it here, well… you can listen to it here.  The song is what I’m talking about, not the video.

what it’s like to be “on campus”, and why I’m not (yet)

I spent 5 hours on campus today, which is longer than I have since the beginning of May.  Time on campus includes one-on-one conversations with students, observing things in the student center, running in to people at the coffee shop… talking about Jesus, family, relationships, schedules, ministry, conflict, reconciliation, and casting vision for our community of faith.  Today has been so entirely refreshing, revealing and motivating!  Refreshing because it helps me to remember and know my calling.  Revealing because even as I pray for specific students and the chapter as a whole all summer, so much comes out in conversation that really moves things along.  I’ll hear straight from someone else’s mouth a very specific situation or dealing that my spirit has sensed in a general way.  Certainly the Spirit prays for me in my confusion and misunderstanding, and I treasure that, but to have discernment and be able to pray with specificity is so special.  I also love praying for people and places when I am there or near.  And when I say “moves things along,” I truly believe that the Kingdom is being built, brick by brick, and these conversations with students are like bricks for the Kingdom of God at Old Dominion.

Back to refreshing:  I think the most exhilarating thing is that I know that the students I met with today are grateful for me, and that the Lord has specifically gifted me and placed me in their lives to help them towards maturity in Christ.  And on the days that I feel like a failure?  Days when I don’t feel appreciated?  Let me remember that God is using every, every thing to work towards His good purposes.

Now the piece on motivation:  There are some aspects of this job that aren’t on campus, like most of my summer has been.  The off-campus work serves the on-campus work… and vice versa.  My off-campus work right now is to be dedicated to raising up a group of supporters for this ministry.  My off-campus work is really intimidating sometimes.  It might include a “cold call” or speaking in front of a big group about my needs.  My off-campus work is also at times really tedious– excel spreadsheets and calculations, managing email lists and tracking down contact information, loads of writing notes and making phone calls….

Let me remember that God is using every, every thing to work towards His good purposes!  I firmly believe His good purpose for me includes me staying on staff and having a full-time ministry position.  I overwhelmingly believe His good purpose for ODU includes the growth of this missional community.  And I am certain that His good purpose for the ODU students is to be drawn into an ever-deepening relationship with Him.

So now, let me spend a few more hours in honest dedication to the “other” part of my work.

–This weekend will kick off the official season of “full-time on campus” work as I take the 25 student leaders on a retreat to reconnect and prepare for this coming semester.  Monday starts the official “New Student Welcome” season as we host events almost every day to invite and envelop new students into the community.  Pray that I will finish the bulk of my fundraising in the next few days!

staying up late thinking about donuts- HOT & NOW

I find myself dragging my feet at “bedtime” and I just realized it’s that I am used to a phone call from Tyler to say goodnight.  I find myself staying up because I know he is(….at work.  The night shift at Krispy Kreme… it’s all part of learning the trade).  Silly.   But, I want to be less averse to silly and more willing to show my love for him, however it might express itself.   I’ve probably spent the last 10 or so years of my life trying to downplay my emotions, especially twitterpation, so that I wouldn’t be “that girl.”   I was boy-crazy.  I got obsessed over certain boys.  And as I tried my hardest to not be that way, I think I lost something of myself.  Weird, isn’t it?  Now that it is TOTALLY appropriate for me to feel butterflies and excitement about this one boy (ok he’s a man, but for the sake of argument)– I’m not fully released into that.

At an impromptu dinner with a friend tonight we talked about breaking free and it felt a little bit like a breeze coming in to a stale room.  Makes me motivated to take some next steps… pursuing some wise counsel and an older woman to speak into my life!

All that to say… I’m in love with Tyler, the Manager-in-training at the Krispy Kreme on VB Blvd!

reminding me of how funny homestar runner was!!

scotch and chocolate

I recently got a mac:

(evidential photos)

It also forced me to re-load my itunes, and I realized how many songs I have that I don’t listen to.  So now I am on a kick of listening to new/old music from my very own library.

Today I am working at my desk and just took a little break to catch up on my google reader (I think loneliness prompts this, too) and while I could have clicked around and read for longer, I got distracted by Nickel Creek’s feisty little instrumental ditty, “scotch and chocolate”.  I don’t mind that phrase.

My Great Aunt Leora loves scotch.  She is in the hospital right now, and I went to see her last night.  The nurse was asking her a barrage of questions about her medical history– Nurse: “never smoked?” Leora: “No. Never.” “never drink alcohol?” “Alcohol, oh yes.  Alcohol!  Well I used to drink heavily.  I love scotch.  But now it’s only occasional”

A closing note about the music; the album is a bit too rageful for me, albeit bluegrass rage.  But I don’t need any spite from outward sources.

friend.

I miss my friends, the ones from Charleston.  I like reading some emails and blogs, and facebook photos are amusing and cute.  But I miss passing time, doing life, sitting on front porches, making meals, drinking wine or eating avacados.  I also really miss the Cistern.

Emily I thought I would see sooner and am now unsure.

Maria, Liz, Annie, Caroline, Ann-Marie, Sophie, and Aubree I will see soon and am overwhelmingly glad.

It has been a year in Norfolk, and a good one at that.  But I think I fought against the sadness more than embracing it, so my nostalgia is a bit tainted.  I want to be in their stories of the day, and I want to dream together again.